Last Meals ...

After dinner, I'll post a bit about where I've been and where I'm at on my journey. But first, let's talk a little bit about "last meals".  Tuesday, I start on my pre-op diet, so tonight my husband and I are going out for a steak dinner, with all the trimmings. Tomorrow night, we eat with his parents. To be honest, I'm a little saddened by the fact that food plays such an important part in my life. Of course, I guess if it didn't, I wouldn't be here, planning a surgical intervention to help me manage my weight.

Yesterday, we went out for sushi. So yummy! All week, I looked forward to these two meals more than I've looked forward to anything in a while. How sad is that? How sad is it that my "last meals" would be so exciting to me? I've been eating foods that I won't be able to have for a very long time -- if ever again -- pretty heavily this past week. Some of it, I have eaten mindlessly and some of it I have really savored and enjoyed. The food that I really enjoyed was food well eaten, considering the circumstance, but the food that I ate mindlessly was food wasted. But the difference between putting it down the garbage disposal and eating mindlessly is the impact on my health, looks and self-confidence. Way to go!

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, but I'm feeling a bit ... I dunno how to explain it. Frustrated that my life has come to this, surely. But, I'm also excited about starting the pre-op diet on Tuesday. I sometimes get annoyed at how important food is for me, and this will almost take food out of the equation. Looking forward to that!