02 August 2010

It's Gonna Happen!!!

I just got off the phone with my surgeon's office. Check-in time is at 6:30! AM! That is exactly what I was hoping for -- that I wouldn't have to wait all day for an afternoon surgery time. That would just make me more nervous and the time would go by very slowly, I'm sure.

I have trouble sleeping before big events, trips, etc., so I'm not sure how much sleep I'll be able to get tonight. I've got a ton of papers to review and my laptop to keep me company until the appointed time, however -- and plenty of blogs to read!

I'm getting ... not really nervous ... aware, I think is the best word. Some of you who have recently been banded have had a more difficult time than I've generally heard of others having, so I'm even more aware that this is major surgery, even if it is less invasive than gastric bypass. I've never been put under before and I'm aware of the dangers. I'm not really a worrier, so I'm not dwelling on them, but they do pop into my mind every so often.

I'm also aware of something else ... I think I've mentioned before that I generally don't have the greatest follow-through. I start projects that I never finish; I make plans that never come to fruition. I'm kind of in awe of myself that I'm actually doing this! That I didn't take a few steps toward it and then lose interest. Even my mother dying hasn't stopped me, and in the past, something like that would have totally thrown me off my path. I've made a commitment to myself to see this through, all the way to the end. I may struggle and lose interest for a few days, but I'm hoping that my band will help to keep me honest and on track. I fully intend to stick with this, in a way that I haven't in a long time. I feel good, for actually doing this.

I think this is the step I've been needing to take for a long time. I know that it isn't going to be easy. And I know that I'm going to have to work and be committed to my health and my band. I know that being thinner will make my life easier in some ways, but I'll still be me; my demons aren't going to go away just because I have a band. But I'm hoping that the band and I can work together to affect more positive change in my life.


  1. Amaris:
    It will be fine. You will be fine. Just so you know, I am day five post op and doing very well. It took a few day longer than I expected, but not too long. :) Know that I don't regret doing it; it's the right decision for me and it sounds like for you too. You have a wide range of experiences as relative points of info and you are going in tomorrow with your eyes open and full of knowledge. That's the best possible position.
    I will be thinking of you in the morning and sending lots of good thoughts way your way. Check in with me by email if you want. We can chat. Good luck!!

  2. I'm excited for you. I'm sure you will do well with the band. Take it one day at a time is what I'm told, plan ahead, sip, sip, sip and walk walk, walk. All advice I have been given from many people.

    My surgery is next Tuesday (Aug. 10th) and I'm on the countdown.

  3. I hope everything will go well hun, hopefully this band is all you need to help you stay on track and motivated!! I just wanted to let you know that I've nominated you for an award!! http://marshmallowfluff2010.blogspot.com/2010/08/yall-love-me-you-really-love-me.html

  4. Good luck doll...we'll see you on the other side.

  5. Very excited for you! You are going to love it. I'm so happy with my decision. The surgery is kind of amazing - it feels like it takes only a minute! It was my first surgery and I couldn't beleive it. It was really kind of cool.

    Try to get some sleep!

  6. SORRY ABOUT YOUR MOM PASSING! you can do this and follow thrue i no you can. im normally a quiter or dont even try something that starts to get tough but im sure you want this bad enough! takecare

  7. I'm very excited for you! This will be great!!! I'm also not the greatest at following through with my plans, so i totally know what you mean about this being a big step! For me it was a huge step and I really feel committed in a way I never have before!